This week...I've been trying to be more open and honest with God. I feel like I have all this "head" knowledge about Him, but lately it's not all sinking down to my heart. I feel like my communication with Him (my prayer life) has been slacking. Anyways...I'm in a Beth Moore Bible study at my church, and one of the things from last week that's really stuck with me is the simplicity of just telling God all of the things that I'm not, and then asking Him to make me more of the things that I want to be.
For instance, right now I'm asking Him to give me a heart that loves Him above all other things and for Him to fill all of my hollow places with His lavish, unfailing love. It's so easy for me to look for my satisfaction and happiness in the things around me - whether it's my family, money, finding enough time for me. I often look to Him as a last resort when I really need something, but He wants me to find my satisfaction (the only true satisfaction there is) in Him alone!!
Anyways...I guess all that was to say that I'm learning to be truly honest with Him. I am confessing all of the ways I'm not finding contentment in Him, and then asking Him to give me more and more of a heart that truly loves Him - a heart that desires a close, personal relationship with Him every minute of every day - not just at church, at bedtime and meal times and whenever else I need him throughout the day. I am trying to daily and diligently pray this prayer for myself - we'll see how it turns out. I'll definitely let you know...but until then...I am confident that - if I continue to ask Him - He will give me that heart that loves Him above everything else...because it's not just my deisre for myself - it's His desire for me as well!! :-)
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6 comments:
Alli... This blog was beautifully honest... Thank you for sharing your realness and heart-felt thoughts on daily walking with God...
I just cried when I read your words---because truly HE is who loves us with a love that presses into us and fills EVERY part of our souls and is UNTAINTED and PERFECT and TRUE and EVERLASTING and UNCONDITIONAL---what all of us long for.
Thank you for being an amazing sister-in-law. I can't believe that God has YOU in my life to learn from, grow with, and live life together. I love you so much Alli!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your words of encouragement, Em!!!!! I feel pretty blessed to have you too! :-)
I feel like my communication with Him (my prayer life) has been slacking.
I don't know many Christians who wouldn't say that too. You're not alone there.
Putting yourself out there in the blogosphere and letting other people read about your struggles should help keep you on track. It's like we're checking up on you ;-)
Like Emily said, a beautifully honest post, Alli.
you're right...you can all hold me accountable (and pray for me.)
thanks for the encouragement, Ryan!
I totally agree with Ryan. You're definitely not the only one out there who feels like you do. Just acknowledging that is the first step to getting you on the right track, though, so keep it up, and let us know how it goes, because I know I need more of that kind of conviction in my life!
thanks Beth, and I will definitely let you know how it goes! kinda like Ryan said - I do kinda feel more pressure now since you're all "watching" me...talk about some good accountability! :-)
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